Things have happened. Bad, bad things. As an outcome, something scary happened as well.
On the way home I realized that the last two hours I spent with planning to do this. Not just daydreaming, but seriously planning. I don’t know why hanging, why on a bridge, but it seemed easy to carry out. Also, far away from home so no one who knew me would see.
There’s nothing more terrible or scary than when you have to realize that the place you thought to be the safest place on earth - your very own mind - now literally wants to take your life. How sick is that? My mind cheated on me like a bored lover trying to get rid of its now-a-burden companion.
All is swell now, or at least this is what I keep telling myself before I go to bed.
aaaand the other lame sketch :) just jason from one of my stupid stories :D
(made with the cheapest pen you can possibly imagine xD)
ugly sketch, i know, but i mean it :) took me… a minute xD yeah, i really should start to put some effort into my “works” instead of complaining but aaaah, school has just started >.> it’s time to hate our lives and whatnot! lol
the idea behind the crappy drawing, well… let’s get back to this topic some time later okay? :)
it’s basically that - i believe - in every human being there’s a feminine and masculine side (or maybe i’m more accurate when i say an individual is a mix of these two, separately these elements don’t exist as something “pure” in a human being) and actually the so called genders are only roles we play. once they might have had a reason to exist but nowadays they’re only a pain in the ass, really. you can’t define someone’s identity as 100% male or 100% female and this is absolutely alright. you can’t tell whether a person is good or bad either as that person will be somewhere in-between. what is far from alright is the fact that people still force these labels and roles upon themselves instead of exploring that mysterious, wonderful creature that is you. makes no sense at all.
(made with the cheapest pen you can possibly imagine xD)
long story short i happen to think “love” does not mean the feeling as it used to be anymore. it means “marriage” now. it’s not “to love” it’s to sacrifice your freedom and dignity in the humiliating way. even if there was such thing as equality it’s gone now. one is free the other one will never be. i hate how people “love” what they call “love”.
well, yeah, the crappy drawing doesn’t really live up to the original thought, but this is how i imagine love. without roles.
crappy sketch made just now. the little note above says “that is all in your head!” and is absolutely irrelevant lol, i just realized it was there after making this little crappy shot just now. :) the sketch itself is a 3 minute-thingy, nothing important, but kind of my feelings in these very moments. :)
This is my merchant, Pure Morning and Varazslo, my friend, Zsolti’s mage. Thing is, we had no idea where to lvl Pure Morning, so not knowing any better we made him leech Varazslo (so basically PM just stands next to Varazslo who gives him half of his exp while exping xD). The moment I created PM ingame I already knew PM is a cheeky, good-for-nothing little *** :D And we always imagined Varazslo to be a strict, confident, hard-working character, so when these two had to hang out together, it was way too obvious they hate each other :D However as much as Varazslo hates PM, he will be really thankful for the good-for-northing’s potions later ^^
Yeah, and the4 scanner killed the whole pic. :( The worst is the Holden’s tummy (supposed to be yellow), but anyways. :)
Yeah, and we play on TalonRO ;)
